Dear Sweet Girl,

I know you just found out the biggest life changing news a woman could ever hear.  You’re pregnant.  The fear sets in, the thoughts race, “What am I going to do?”  For many women, when they hear that news, it’s a time for celebration.  But, for you, this may be a time of panic.  Maybe your family does not support the pregnancy.  Maybe the father is abusive or you don’t even know who the father is.  Maybe the baby was conceived by rape.  Maybe it’s none of those things.  Maybe you are excited at the idea of being a mom but cannot even care for yourself at this time.  Maybe you’re facing homelessness, struggling in your mental health, or have no support in your life whatsoever.  Whatever your situation is, you’re pregnant and have some very big decisions to make.  So, now what?

First, remember that you are deeply, deeply loved by your Father in Heaven.  I know it can be a hard truth to think about in a time like this, but you must know that God loves you deeper than you could ever know and He sees you.  You were created with a purpose, intentionally.  You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  I don’t even know you, but I love you too. 

Next, remember that God loves that baby inside you, too.  That baby was no accident to God.  Your unborn child is also precious in the eyes of God.

You may be hearing a multitude of suggestions from friends, family, or even strangers on what to do with this unexpected pregnancy.  I hope this letter will shine some light on some of those suggestions.

Abortion

Let’s just start with one of the first thoughts that might be coming to your mind:  It seems like the easiest thing would be to have an abortion.  Afterall, you’re simply undoing what was done, right?  It’s not that simple nor is it easy.  In fact, there’s more to the story than just undoing what was done, much more.  The reality is, you will ALWAYS have the memory of that baby.  No amount of time and distance from the situation will get you away from that memory.  You will constantly be reminded of that baby every time you see someone holding a child that is the same age that your baby would be if he or she had been given a chance at life. 

What if you regret having an abortion?  You don’t truly know how you’ll feel about your abortion until after it’s done.  You may believe right now that you’ll be OK with it, but there’s testimony after testimony of women deeply regretting their abortions and wishing they could go back.

The reality is, many women suffer deeply after their abortions.  In fact, studies show there is a significant mental health decline that is linked to abortion.  These include an increased risk of suicidal behaviors, substance use disorder, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.  The risk of experiencing this mental health decline following abortion is high, not low, with an 81% increased risk compared to women that have not experienced abortion. 

Today, you may be feeling desperate, alone, and helpless.  It may seem like abortion is the easiest option.  The reality is, though, you may be signing yourself up for a lifetime of regret, heartache, and suffering because of getting an abortion. 

Whatever your circumstances are that may be leading you to consider abortion as an option, just know that you won’t always be in this situation.  Your circumstances will change but abortion is permanent.  It’s not worth the risk.  Choose life for yourself and your baby.

Adoption

Now let’s dive into the other A word, “adoption”.  This option is often so overlooked, but can be a wonderful blessing to both you and your baby.  Adoption can be closed or open. 

With open adoption, you are able to have ongoing contact with the adoptive family and a continuing relationship with the baby.  For many women, this is a beautiful arrangement.  They can be rest assured that they are able to stay connected with their baby while knowing their baby is being raised in a loving home. 

With closed adoption, there is strict confidentiality and no contact with the adoptive family.  For many women, this is a wonderful option that allows them to have peace and closure.  They know their baby is being raised in a safe and loving home and can move forward with their healing.

If you are unsure of adoption but would like to know more, please reach out to us.  We will lovingly hear your story and can guide you to an adoption counselor that will help you decide if this is the right choice for you.  We are here to help you in your journey.

Keep the Baby

Becoming a mother is an incredible blessing.  It is not always easy.  In fact, some days are downright hard and it can be easy to get overwhelmed by our blessing of motherhood.  With God’s love and guidance, you can do this.  You can do ALL things through Him because He will strengthen you (Philippians 4:13). 

There are tremendous resources out there to help you in your journey.  There are housing resources, financial resources, baby necessity resources, and more.  It can be overwhelming figuring out where to start, but just start.  You don’t have to start alone, we are here to help you in your journey. 

Sweet girl, you are more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10).  We love so you much.  If you are pregnant and scared, give us a call or send us an email.  You don’t have to do this alone.

With Love,

Your friend at Sunlight Home